Dear reader,
Thank you for your curiosity! The series displayed below is my most recent work. I am still in the process of completing it. If you have valuable insights, personal experiences, or an anecdote to share on this theme, feel free to reach out! I’m always open to a conversation, so don’t hesitate to send me an email or contact me on Instagram.
I am also looking for a place to present this work—any tips are more than welcome!
Burning Lilies
Burning Lilies’ is about my conscious choice not to have children. It shows the vulnerability of this choice in itself and its consequences. This choice caused a stir in my and my partner’s circle of friends and family. Despite our choice being made, the opinions and counter-arguments remain a sensitive issue. Who will take care of us later? And isn’t it our moral obligation as human beings to procreate? Besides the fact that such a choice is already drastic, navigating a sea of opinions of our loved ones is an additional struggle.
isn’t it our moral obligation as human beings to procreate?
Throughout the series, I depict arguments between us and our loved ones. A friend with her child and husband show how my contemporaries can derive joy from parenthood, but it’s a big responsibility. Three hands of three generations holding the long stem of a flower show my mother and grandmother. I myself cut the flower at the root: it will not grow any further. Burning lilies refer to the lily’s associations with femininity and fertility. By letting it burn, it irreversibly loses its beauty.
‘Your body was made to make and raise babies, why would you want to miss out on that experience?’ It’s true, I do feel like I’m less of a woman. My body is at it’s peak fertility wise, and I find the ability of a woman’s body to create, deliver, and feed a child is truly magical. But I’ve accepted it, my brain tells me that being a parent is not for me. I love being the weird, creative ‘aunt’ to our friends’ kids.
The most common question we got was ‘Who will take care of you when you’re old?’ and the similar ‘Won’t you be lonely?’. We thought of this of course, and it’s scary not knowing the answers. We’ve had many discussions in fact, but having kids doesn’t mean they will be there to take care of you when you’re old and grey. Form our perspective it felt a little selfish to put a new life in this world, just to have someone to be there for us.
Another perspective
– a starting point for a conversation
By making myself vulnerable and taking my own experiences as a starting point, I open up the discussion about the taboo of consciously remaining childless.
